OK, so a couple days ago I got pretty annoyed with Seamus*. It doesn’t matter why; just sometimes I wanna cuff him upside the head for what later seems like a pretty trivial reason. If you have a significant male in your life, I’m certain you can relate.
Anyway, Monday night it kind of came to a head and he decided to take the couch and I contented myself with reading in bed since I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anyway. Now, either it was because I had been robbed of sleep not only on Monday night, but the night before, I’m not sure, but last night he comes home from work and I wordlessly put his plate of food in front of him and then we head downstairs to eat supper in front of the TV ’cause that’s just how classy we are. Big Bang Theory was on. It’s the one where Sheldon is in the cafeteria at work at the beginning of the episode, working out a problem and clearly stalling on the answer. Leonard and Wolowitz are looking on in fascination, and Wolowitz finally asks Leonard if he’s tried rebooting Sheldon. Bear this in mind as I tell you the rest of the story.
So, we’re sitting there eating and the tension in the room is nearly visible, it’s so thick. Seamus calmly puts his plate and utensils down and starts very casually telling me that during lunch that day at work, one of his buddies there showed him a Youtube video on his phone of another guy who discovered that if you stuff uncooked macaroni into an uncooked hot dog, and then throw the macaroni-stuffed hot dog into some boiling water, then you get a cooked hot dog with cooked macaroni inside it.
[THIS is what guys do at work? Watch other guys cook? Who knew?]
Putting aside the obvious burning question as to WHY anyone would want a macaroni-stuffed hot dog for a moment, I was literally stumped. Then I realized that when I’m severely pissed with Seamus, this is what he does. I don’t think he realizes he’s doing it, or maybe he does and I’m the one who doesn’t realize he’s more clever than he seems. The last time we had a blow-out like this, we were driving to his brother’s wedding in Butt-F**k-Nowhere and Seamus had taken that opportunity to start talking about when the Butt-F**k-Nowhere bridge was built, how it was built, who built it, etc. etc. etc. (Much like myself, his head is filled with facts that no one else in their right minds would even care about.)
Perhaps, then, he realizes my predilection regarding unanswered questions and knows that if he presents me with enough information, I will have to respond with a question and responding is communicating and to Seamus, an inexorably logical man in his own twisted way, that’s problem solved. Or, to put it another way, he reboots me.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or punch him, so I went out to London Drugs to buy a new hair dryer instead (mine having quit on me Monday morning, thankfully AFTER I had dried my hair – helluva week). At least I didn’t go to Chuck E. Cheese and try to build molecule strings in a children’s ball room, yelling BAZINGA! as people tried to extricate me.
It’s all about perspective, I guess. I have actually forgotten why I was so angry with Seamus in the first place.
* Name changed to protect the guilty.