What else you got?

Recently, Brandi Glanville of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’

announced on ‘Watch What Happens Live’ (seriously, has ANYONE heard of this show prior to this story coming from it?) that aside from her ex-husband, Eddie Cibrian, the most famous person she’s hooked up with is Gerard Butler.  Let’s dissect her claim, shall we?

First, I’d like to point out that it’s NONE of ANYONE’S business who either Gerard or Brandi have slept with.  However, if you’re going to publicly make such a claim, or bandy about names of people you’ve slept with or wish you had, you should be prepared for the backlash, not the least of which is Gerard’s question, “Who’s Brandi Glanville?”

Ouch.  But seriously, that is damn funny.  One for Gerard.

Second, is that your only real accomplishment, that you’re able to bed celebrities?  It doesn’t seem all that hard to do, considering the number of B-list celebrities wanting to make a name for themselves by producing a “secret” sex tape, or by having some kind of meltdown which would put LiLo to shame.  What else have you done in your nearly 40 years, Brandi?  Besides getting copious amounts of plastic surgery and popping up everywhere like a dirty sock?  Having sex with people hardly counts as a ‘talent’ considering so much ‘talent’ is available for the taking.

Third, she is touting herself all over Twitter and other social media trying very hard to convince her fans and anyone else who will listen that she “does not lie” and that it truly happened.  Is she trying to convince us, or herself?  More than anyone, I would love to have a story like that to tell about myself and Gerard Butler, but it simply hasn’t happened.  Although, I admit that I would not be inclined to share that kind of information publicly regardless.

Fourth, she rates him as an 11 out of 10, which I don’t doubt.  What I doubt is that he was only an 11.  She could have done him better service by rating him possibly a more accurate 15 or 20 out of 10, couldn’t she?  He’s Gerard Butler after all!  I would like to take this opportunity as quite possibly his biggest fan to register offence on his behalf at her underestimation of his abilities.

Fifth, she says she spent a week with him and well, most telling of all, is the woman can still walk.  I have seen pictures of Gerard Butler in his swim trunks and well, it seems that a whole week with *ahem* him may leave a girl a little bit worse for wear, though blissfully so.  I believe this may be the reason the man is still single.  Way too much for just one woman.

As for Gerard, he can forget my name anytime he likes.

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